Tenacious Love
Suffering for Doing Good Part 7
1 Peter 4:8	2-10-2013
Summary: Everything Scripture teaches on every topic tethers us to love. It is the central virtue. The natural family love we have as brothers and sisters in Christ is far greater than the world's love, but we must be reminded of the importance of being tenacious in that love because persecution will tend to make it grow cold and push us toward irritability toward one another. Make your love tenacious by watching for areas where the hard-to-love person resembles God, focusing your attention on that person's love for Christ, and thinking about God's love for that person. The result will be the covering of all sins that do not need to be confronted (repentant sin), which comes out to a multitude of sins. Failure here will destroy the church.
Introduction
Persecution Strains Love
The Priority of Love
Stay Tethered to Love
Cannot Love Christ Without Loving His Bride
The Central Virtue
The Perseverance of Love
Love Tenaciously
We Already Have Brotherly Love
Failure to Love Inhibits Ability to See Love
Add Tenacity to Your Brotherly Love
How to Love Tenaciously
Not through Redefinition
1) Watch for God's Image in the Person
2) Appreciate the Person's Love for Christ
3) Consider God's Love for the Person
The Protection of Love
Covering Sin
What it Means
Which Sins Can be Covered?
Self-Destruction in the Church
Conclusion: As Christ Has Forgiven You
1:25 Questions

1 Peter 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 9 Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10 Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms. 11 If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

Introduction
If you go off-roading, one of the most vulnerable parts of your vehicle is the differential. That is that kind of round thing in the middle, between the axels. It is vulnerable because it hangs down lowest to the ground, so if a rock is going to hit something it will hit that. And so they make some really heavy duty covers for those things. I watched a video the other day of a guy testing one of those covers. It was one demonstration after another of the kind of force it could withstand, so he was dropping things on it, setting off explosives, he pressed down on it with a back hoe and lifted up the entire front loader off the ground - nothing would break it. But he was determined to find a breaking point, so he kept going until he finally ran over it with a massive, forty-ton piece of earth moving machinery and it broke. I think he was one of those guys who is more interested in breaking things than in actually discovering how durable a particular piece of equipment is.
Sometimes in the church our love is tested like that. Just one stress-test after another, greater and greater pressure until your love finally gives out. Love is patient and kind, it does not envy or boast, is not proud or rude or self-seeking, or easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs, does not rejoice in the other person's failure, bears all things, and always remains willing to trust the person. That is what love is, and so you know your love has collapsed when one of those gives way. You start keeping a record of wrongs, or you become irritable and easily angered, or you lose patience - any of those components give way, and love has failed. So when someone in the church is running bulldozers over your love, how much pressure does it take for something to give? How much abuse can your love withstand?
Persecution Strains Love
We have been studying verse by verse through the book of 1 Peter, and we come today to a passage designed to make our love more durable.  
8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
Ever since midway through chapter 3, Peter has been teaching about this issue of how to respond to abuse and mistreatment and persecution from the world - suffering for righteousness. At first glance it may seem like now we have finally moved to a new topic - love within the church. That is the subject starting in verse 8 and going through verse 11. But then as you keep reading you realize Peter has not left the topic of suffering for righteousness yet. He gets right back into that in verses 12 through the end of the chapter. So why this little interlude about loving one another and welcoming and serving one another in the church? Could it be that Peter has this section here because he knows that the more abuse we suffer from the outside, the more it strains the limits of our love inside the church? When people on the outside mistreat us, and life gets really hard and we cannot do anything about it, we have a tendency to take it out on our brothers and sisters in the church. In Matthew 24, Jesus warned us about the abuse and persecution we would suffer in the end times.
Matthew 24:12 Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold
When the world takes out its rebellion against God on us through persecution, that makes life hard for us. And the harder life gets for us, the easier it is to slip into selfishness and self-pity and self-focus instead of other-focus and love. When people are hurting you, the natural reaction is always to turn inward and to start focusing on how you are being treated, as if that were the most important thing. You start expecting a certain amount of sympathy and a certain amount of help and encouragement, and the next thing you know your attention is on all the ways people are failing to love you, rather than on you loving them. Love crumbles under the weight of suffering, we become selfish and irritable, and the next thing you know we turn on one another. So it is not out of place at all for Peter to pause in his discussion about persecution and remind us again that our highest priority is love. And that is Peter's first point - priority. 
The Priority of Love
8 Above all, love each other deeply
Stay Tethered to Love 
Love is the priority above everything else. We can get all caught up in theology and figuring out who the spirits in prison are that Jesus preached to, and where His soul went while He was in the tomb, and the role of angels in spiritual warfare, and study all about the Second Coming and Judgment Day and all the rest - but if we ever get to the point where we are so caught up with those things that we neglect love for actual people – we are off track. 
Remember the game tetherball? If you never played tetherball, it is a pole with a ball hanging down from the top that is tethered to the pole with a rope. You can hit that ball as hard as you want in any direction - even directly away from the pole, but all that does is make it swing around the pole which draws it in closer and closer. Think of that pole as love, and think of the rope as Scripture. Any time you are following Scripture, you will be pulled in the direction of love. If you find yourself neglecting love or moving away from love, that means you have cut the rope of God's Word. You may be reading the words, but you are missing the message. 
Sometimes we get excited about spiritual gifts, or about theology, or teaching or evangelism or prayer or worship. Those are all wonderful things. But if your interest in one of those things takes you away from love, you are missing the point of what Scripture is saying about that thing. For example, suppose someone gets all excited about praising God. They love to sing and make music and shout praises, but the way the church does it rubs them the wrong way so they start drifting away from the fellowship - they just want to go do their music on their own and worship in the privacy of their own home - moving away from loving God's people; then they have cut the cord of Scripture. If you study what Scripture really says about praise, you will see it talking about speaking to one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, and building up and edifying one another in the way we worship, and it will move you in the direction of love. Same thing with the study of the end times. Or spiritual gifts. Or evangelism or baptism or church government or predestination or the Millennium - every topic in the Bible, if you are faithful to what Scripture is actually saying, God's Word will work like that rope - always keeping you tethered to love. So as you run with that particular subject you end up just wrapped all around the greatest command - loving God by loving His people.
Cannot Love Christ Without Loving His Bride 
And both parts of that are essential. You cannot love God without loving the people He loves. If someone were putting on a banquet in your honor - to honor you for some achievement, and they told you, "Be there Saturday night at 6:00.  Wear a tuxedo, and oh – don’t bring your wife. We can’t stand her” - what would you say? Would you even go? No. You are not going to enjoy receiving honor from someone who hates someone you dearly love. That is why Jesus said…
Matthew 5:23-24 If you are offering your gift on the altar, and there you remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift. 
Hostility between brothers is a stench in heaven and it so utterly contaminates our worship that God says, "I'm not interested in you trying to honor Me in worship until you have done everything you can to reconcile with the person you are at odds with." This is a fundamental principle: The only way for us to successfully glorify God is with a united voice. God will answer our prayers and accept our worship and grace us with His presence when we worship Him arm-in-arm, and no other way. If we try and tell God, “Meet me at church on Sunday morning so I can honor You, but don’t bring Your wife- don’t bring that person that you deeply love and that you died for but who I can’t stand.” - if we say that to God we rip the heart out of our own worship. Love is essential for worship.
The Central Virtue
Love is essential for everything. Love is the virtue that holds all the other virtues together and in balance and harmony.
Colossians 3:14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
In order for things like compassion, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, and all the rest to work together the right way, love has to be controlling and governing all of them.
Can you think of anything that is commanded more often in the New Testament than this – to love one another? Nothing is more important.
1 John 3:10 This is how … the Devil's children are made evident. Whoever … does not love his brother.
You may be doing a lot of other things in the church – you might be teaching, feeding the poor, sharing your faith; you might sing like an angel, you might be known by everyone in the church for your skill- you might have so much faith that you could step outside right now and reshuffle the mountains. But if you are not pouring yourself into ever-deepening, authentic relationships with people in the church, if you are not pursuing love, it is all worthless. 1 Corinthians 13:1 says it is like a sounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I went and grabbed one of those cymbals and just started banging on it the whole time I was preaching - the whole hour just banging that thing - how would you like that? Would that be just a little bit annoying to you? Then you have an idea what all your ministry and skill and faith and trusting God and teaching and evangelism and singing is like to God if you do not have love. Love is the most important thing. And it becomes more and more important as the end gets nearer and nearer.
Hebrews 10:24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
The closer the end gets, the more persecution and trouble will increase, and the more our love will be stretched to the limit.
The Perseverance of Love
Love Tenaciously 
And so he repeats the exact same thing he said back in 1:22 - love one another deeply. And in case you cannot remember back to last summer when we were in chapter 1, let me refresh your memory on that word translated deeply (your Bible might say earnestly or intensely). It literally means to stretch, so it can refer to either intensity or time. So to stretch your love can mean stretch it to the limit of intensity, or it could mean stretch it out in time so that it does not give out. And the context back in chapter 1 pointed more toward that second meaning - persevering, undying love. Love that will not quit. Love that cannot be overcome, cannot be beaten down, and will not ever give up. It is based on the eternal Word of God and so it is eternal and undying. 
1 Corinthians 13:7 Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. 
I do think the idea of intensity is also present in this word, even if the enduring, persevering aspect is the stronger emphasis. Both concepts are still there. Maybe the best English translation would be tenacious. Tenacious has the idea of not letting go not easily discouraged; persisting - but it also has the nuance of intensity and earnestness. Peter is calling us to tenacious love for one another.
We Already Have Brotherly Love
He is not content with natural levels of love. People in the world have love for one another, but not like this. A number of times I have heard Christians criticize the church and say, “You can find more acceptance in a bar than in a church.” Everyone knows your name, you are welcomed like family, nobody judges you – that is the world’s idea of brotherly love. That is nothing like Christian love. If you think that is love, try it and see how far outside the doors of the bar it extends. See what happens when you are in a hospital bed with a potentially terminal disease. Or you have some great financial need, or you need help with some long-term problem. I have seen people in the church rally around people in need like that hundreds of times. Very rarely does it ever happen in the world. How many hospitals have you ever heard of that have been started by atheists? Just think of the names of the hospitals around here – St. Joseph’s Children’s hospital, St. Luke’s, St. Anthony’s, Avista Adventist Hospital. Every one of them from a Christian influence. Raise your hand if you have ever been treated at Darwin Memorial Hospital? Or Sigmund Freud Medical Center?
What great acts of self-sacrificial love is any atheist known for? It is the Church where you see real love. Are there failures? Of course – but even with those failures you do not find greater love anywhere else in the world than in the Church. It is from the ranks of the saints in the Church where thousands and thousands of missionaries come – people willing to give up everything and suffer and die just to let people know about the good news that can save them.
Be careful about accusing the Church of not being loving. All our failures notwithstanding, the Holy Spirit is still in business. And what does the Spirit do? What is at the top of the list of things the Holy Spirit does?
Galatians 5:22 The fruit of the Spirit is … love .
John 13:35 By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.
Followers of Christ have love for one another that is the work of the Holy Spirit and distinguishes us from the world. If you say otherwise, you are contradicting Jesus and you are blind to the work of the Spirit.
Failure to Love Inhibits Ability to See Love 
Now, I want you to know that I understand that people are mistreated in the Church. I hear horror stories all the time, and it is rare that I hear anything that has not happened to me personally. I know how it feels to be gossiped about, lied to, humiliated, shunned, kicked out – you name it. I know all about that. But even though I have experienced all those things at the hands of people in the Church, if you ask me if I have been loved by the Church I will say, “Absolutely, without question – I have been loved in supernatural ways.” I remember one day when our kids were very young we gathered the family into the living room and knelt down and prayed for God to provide us with food, because we were completely out of money. And right after we prayed the doorbell rang and some people we had never met said, “We have a gift for you” and started carrying in box after box after box of groceries for us. Would you like to guess who they were? I will give you a hint – it was not the local chapter of the American Atheist Alliance. It was not my unbelieving neighbors. It was not my secular co-workers at the rafting company I worked for. It was not some Democrat political group; it was not a Republican political group. It was people from church.
There have been hundreds of times in my life when people in the Church have encouraged me with God’s Word, prayed for me, exhorted me, helped me in my walk with the Lord, built me up in the faith, blessed me with their spiritual gifts, rebuked me in love when I needed it, helped me with my marriage, taught me how to raise my kids  – the list goes on and on – thousands of times I have received that kind of love from the Church. You know how many times I have received that kind of love from the world? I can count them on one thumb (and have room to spare).
Nowhere in the world will you receive love like you receive it in the Church. The flesh is still a reality in the saints, and so we still sin, which means we will have failures and lapses in our love, but that does not erase the fact of supernatural, Spirit-generated love.
When people complain about lack of love in the Church very often it is because they have developed a mindset of focusing on failures to love while ignoring successes. And in many cases they are the biggest culprits in the failures! They are not pouring themselves out in love to anyone – they just want to be loved. Their attention is not mainly on how they can encourage you – they are focused mainly on policing how everyone else is doing at loving them. Any time that becomes your focus – you spend your time thinking, “My spouse isn’t loving me,” or “The people at church aren’t loving me,” – as long as that is your focus then you are not going to be focusing on loving them. And if you are wondering why those people are not loving you, it is probably because they are a lot like you. They are focused on whether you are loving them, and so loving you is not on their radar.
Add Tenacity to Your Brotherly Love
So if your focus is on the failures, it will seem to you like the Church is a horrible place. But if you open your eyes to what the Holy Spirit is doing you will see that the Church is a place of sincere, deep love. That is just built-in to everyone who has the Holy Spirit - every Christian. We already have the supernatural love; our problem is with our tenacity. It is natural for us to have a sincere, family love for our brothers and sisters. But so often that love is not very tenacious. It tends to be a fragile, easily-overcome love. That is where we need to be encouraged.
1 Peter 1:22 Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another tenaciously, from the heart.
The sincere love just comes from being a Christian. But tenacious love is something we constantly need to be reminded about, because there are some people who just seem to be on a mission to make it impossible for you to love them. Time after time after time they do things that just throw cold water all over the fires of your love for them. And finally you give up. You just drop out of whatever group that person is in so you don't have to see them, or maybe you are tempted to drop out of the church altogether and just go to another church. Because we all know that if you go to another church, they won't have any of those kinds of people there, right? If you go to another church, everyone will be really easy to love and no one will do things to make it hard. Right? Wrong!
Every church has their fair share of hard-to-love people. And the solution is not skipping from church to church whenever you run in to them. The solution is tenacious love. And where does that come from? How do you maintain an undying, tenacious love that just will not give up?
How to Love Tenaciously 
Not through Redefinition
Some people try to answer that question by re-defining love in non-emotional terms. They say, "You don't have to like them or have any certain emotions. Agape love does not involve emotion - it's just resolve and commitment and self-sacrificial giving." That is dead wrong. In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul said you can have all the commitment in the world and still not have love. If the love we are to have for one another does not involve emotion, where did all Paul’s tears come from?
2 Corinthians 2:4 For out of an extremely troubled and anguished heart I wrote to you with many tears … that you should know the abundant love I have for you.
Did Paul just decide, “Oh, the right thing to do would be to cry now – ‘boo hoo”? No. Tears come from deep emotion. So how do you tenaciously hold on to emotional love for people who are making it really hard to love them?
1) Watch for God's Image in the Person
The answer to that question is a whole other study that is beyond our scope right now, but let me at least remind you of the most basic principle about loving people - it has to grow out of your love for God. The way to love people who are hard to love is by focusing on the things in that person that display attributes of God that really are easy to love. Think for a second about that person in this church who is near the bottom of your list. That person rubs you the wrong way, and you find yourself having the hardest time loving him or her. From now on, whenever you see that person or think about that person, pray for God to open the eyes of your heart to see that whenever you see that person, you are experiencing the creativity of God first hand. 
Then ask Him to open your eyes to see God's fingerprints on that person. What virtues does that person have that resemble God? Focus on those, and enjoy them. Imagine a lovesick girl who is separated from the love of her life for a time, so she cherishes some simple, otherwise worthless possession from him. She treasures it simply because it came from him. It might just be a little piece of paper with some of his cologne, and she carries it around with her because that smell reminds her of him. 
That person you thought of a moment ago - that person bears not just God's cologne, but His image. And if the person is a believer, that person's character bears the image of Christ's character in many ways. Nothing else is in God's image. Compared to everything else in creation, that person is one of the crowing jewels of our Beloved’s creation and reflects His very nature. Let the image of God in that person be like the cologne of the God you so love.
Now, think about this - how satisfying would that little piece of paper be to that woman if she focused her attention on all the ways the paper does not resemble the man? If she thought about it that way, there would be nothing but disdain for the paper. That paper falls so far short of being exactly the same as the man in so many ways, if that is what she is focused on, that paper will go right into the trash. But that is not her concern. She is not looking for the paper to replace the man. She is looking to the paper only to remind her of one little thing about the man, and that it can do. So she treasures it. And we can do the same thing with one another. That person that bothers you so much - stop focusing on all the myriad of ways that person does not resemble God. Focus on the ways he or she does, and treasure that. Rejoice in that. Enjoy it. It is unique. No one else resembles God in quite the same way. There are facets to God's glory that cannot be seen in anyone else like they can be seen in that person. Like a soldier who repeatedly pulls out a photo of a loved one to keep himself motivated to make it through the war and get back home, let's do that with the image of God in the people around us.
2) Appreciate the Person's Love for Christ 
Another thing that has really helped me is focusing my attention on the fact that that person honors the Lord Jesus Christ. Just the fact that the person confesses Christ as Lord and desires to please Him should mean something to us. We get excited when we hear about some athlete or celebrity that was just seen carrying a Bible or who said some vague comment about God. How much more excited should we be about someone who affirms the true gospel and loves the Lord Jesus Christ and publically sings His praises? And isn't all that true of the person at this church you are at odds with? Doesn't that person unashamedly declare Jesus as Lord? In Romans 14 the people were at odds with each other over disputes about whether or not a Christian should eat meat sacrificed to an idol, or whether to observe the Sabbath, etc. And each side was looking down on the other side. And Paul addressed the problem not by saying which side was right, but by pointing out that both sides were doing what they were doing to honor Christ.
Romans 14:6 Whoever regards one day as special does so to the Lord. Whoever eats meat does so to the Lord, for they give thanks to God; and whoever abstains does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God.
Those people you are arguing and fighting with over this doctrinal point - those people love the Lord! Doesn't that mean anything to you? Doesn't it thrill your heart, in a world where Christ is blasphemed and reduced to a curse word, that someone would live his or her life to honor and worship Him?
Major on that person's love for the Lord. John Wesley and George Whitfield are two very famous preachers from back in the 1700s - they were friends in college, and worked together in ministry until it became clear that they had a major doctrinal difference. Whitefield was a staunch Calvinist and Wesley was a passionate Arminian. The debate between Calvinism and Arminianism has to do with things like divine election, predestination, free will, eternal security, and apostasy. And that debate has created some extremely heated fights throughout modern church history - dividing churches and denominations. Neither of those two men would compromise their doctrine, and even preached passionately against the other view. But it never turned into any kind of personal resentment. They remained close friends. In fact both men always thought the other was the more godly. The story is told that one professor once asked Whitfield whether he thought they would see John Wesley in heaven. Whitfield answered, "No sir, I fear not. He will be so near the throne, and we shall be at such a distance, that we shall hardly get a sight of him." How can you have such disagreement with someone and still have an attitude like that? By focusing more on that person's love for Christ than on the area where you think they are wrong.
3) Consider God's Love for the Person
And a third strategy - think about the intensity of God's love for that person. In 1 Corinthians 8:11 Paul says, "Are you going to fail to love your weaker brother, for whom Christ died?" Yes, he does some annoying things - but Christ died for him! Just spend some time thinking about how Jesus feels about that person. Think about how Jesus felt about that person when He was on the cross suffering to save that person.
The Protection of Love
Covering Sin
Those are a few basic principles. Scripture is loaded with others. But whatever you do, find a way to maintain tenacious, undying love for one another. That is important for a whole lot of reasons, but Peter singles out just one.
8 Above all, love each other tenaciously, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
The reason we need to persevere with our love is because that is the way to get multitudes of sin covered up. Did you know that was a goal - to get multitudes of sins covered up? Peter just takes it for granted that we already understand that that is the goal. He assumes we know that much, and so he just explains to us what will get that done - tenacious love. So what does it mean for sins to be covered, and why is that our goal?
What it Means 	
The concept of sin being covered is common in the Old Testament, and it always appears alongside forgiveness.
Psalm 32:1 Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.
Job 14:17 My offenses will be sealed up in a bag; you will cover over my sin.
Nehemiah 4:5 Do not cover up their guilt or blot out their sins from your sight
When God covers a sin it means He hides it from His sight. He does not look at it or take it into consideration. He does not let that sin have any effect on how He feels about you or how He treats you. Obviously God still knows you committed the sin, because He knows everything, but when He covers it, it means He feels about you and acts toward you in the way He would feel and act if He did not know about the sin - or the way He would feel and act if you had not committed the sin.
And we can follow His example and cover one another's sins in our own sight. When someone sins, you can cover that up. You can shelter that person from shame, embarrassment, exposure, and all kinds of consequences. We have seen the priority of love and the perseverance of love; this is the protection of love. We protect one another by covering over each other's sins. Normally the sin would have negative consequences on that person's relationship with you, but if you cover the sin, that means it does not have those consequences. Normally that sin would make you feel negatively toward that person; but if you cover it then it won't affect your feelings. That is what covering sin means.
Which Sins Can be Covered?
Any sin that does not need to be confronted. We know that some sins must be dealt with, right?
Matthew 18:15 If your brother sins, go and show him his fault
Luke 17:3 If your brother sins, rebuke him
So clearly not all sins can be covered up. Some of them need to be confronted and dealt with. In Revelation 2:2 the church of Ephesus was praised by Jesus because they would not tolerate sin in the church. And then in 2:20, the church of Thyatira was rebuked because they did tolerate sin.
So if we confront the sins that need to be confronted, all the rest - all the ones that do not need to be confronted, they can be covered. But how often does that happen? If I go ahead and rebuke the person every time it is one of those Luke 17:3 situations, and I go ahead and show the person his fault every time it is one of those Matthew 18:15 situations - if I confront all those kinds of sins, what is left? How many other sins does that leave for me to cover? Peter's answer: a multitude.
Love covers a multitude of sin.
So which sins are we to cover? The answer is very simple: repentant sin. We are to cover over the same sins that God covers over - repentant sins.
Luke 17:3 If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.
If the person is repentant then there is no need to confront, and repentance is the norm for a Christian. When a person is truly saved, the normal pattern of his or her life is to repent when they sin. That is what all Christians normally do. So unless you have some reason to suspect that is not happening in a particular instance, then your assumption should be that they are repentant and you can cover that sin. Now, there is one exception I should mention. In some cases a person might be repentant, but he is enslaved to that sin and can't find his way out of bondage. If that is the case, and if you have the kind of relationship where he is open to your influence, then you can offer to help him find his way out of that bondage.
Galatians 6:1 if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. 
So that is one case where you might say something even if he is repentant - if you suspect he might be in bondage and is open to your counsel, you can offer to help. But other than that - just cover it up.
Maybe there is a person at Agape who struggles with being harsh and insensitive. You have talked to him about it, and he knows it is a problem, he knows it is sin, he hates that sin in his life, but he is just really having a hard time overcoming it. So the next time you see him being harsh or insensitive, you are free to just cover it up. He knows it is wrong, he is working on it, he is dealing with it - so you are free to just turn your eyes away from that sin and refuse to think about it or talk about it. Put it out of your mind. Treat it like you would treat a pornographic image - push it out of your mind as fast as you can as often as it tries to come back in. Do not think it over, do not rehearse it, do not focus on it - think about something else. And whatever you do, do not talk to anyone else about it.
Proverbs 17:9 Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.
The opposite of covering sin is repeating it. Do not ever mention other people's sins in conversation unless it is absolutely necessary. 
So ask yourself, how often do you cover over sins that people in the church commit against you? How many sins do you typically cover over? A multitude? According to Peter, if it is not a multitude, it is not love, because love covers a multitude. Every time a brother or sister sins, our most natural reaction should be to bury it.
Self-Destruction in the Church 
This is essential for the survival of the church. In order for a church to survive, multitudes of sins must be covered up. If we start picking at each other over all the sins we struggle with, we will destroy the church.
Galatians 5:15 If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
No church can survive internal biting and devouring. We can survive any amount of persecution the outside world brings upon us, but we cannot survive internal self-destruction. And when internal self-destruction starts, the only medicine that can cure that cancer is tenacious love. When love gives out under pressure, the church will not survive because people will start assuming bad motives, interpreting body language in unfavorable ways, reading negative implications into what you say or do, and generally focusing on all your faults and sins and shortcomings. Instead of enjoying the fragrances of the image of God in you, they will zero in on the areas where you do not resemble God and plaster that all over the giant-screen TV in their heart, and before long it will come out of their mouth when they talk to others about you, and pretty soon everyone is down on everyone.
And even the people who do not get caught up in it will be affected because they will be discouraged when they see it happen. Every time you see two people in conflict in the church, it is discouraging. And that discouragement will cause some to leave the church, others to drop out of ministry, and the whole thing will become a downward spiral. But if we remain faithful to God's Word, that will keep us tethered to love, and love will cover over a multitude of sins.
Conclusion: As Christ Has Forgiven You
"But Darrell, you don't understand all the things these people are doing to hurt me!"
Maybe not, but let me ask you this - how many of your sins has Jesus covered? And how much did it cost Him to cover them? And how eager was He to do it? For His sake, could you not cover the much tinier multitude of sins committed against you?
Ephesians 4:32  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Benediction: Ephesians 4:29-32  Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.  30  And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.  31  Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  32  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

1:25 Questions
1.	When your love undergoes a stress test, what kinds of forces tend to be the ones that make it collapse? Which of the three solutions might help the most in that area (Watching for areas where that person resembles God, focusing on that person's love for Christ, or thinking about Christ's love for that person)?
2.	Which kinds of offenses do you find it hardest to cover? 
3.	Do you spend more time thinking about loving others or how others are failing to love you? What could you do to make your thinking more other-focused rather than self-focused?